Message sent to Thom Malone
GENERAL TALK? · 6/4/2008 
According to the dictionary I am known as “general talk that is damaging to one’s reputation.” And when I speak --- you better believe people stop whatever they are doing and listen: My Name Is Gossip. I am nobody's friend I make headlines I ruin careers The more I am quoted My victims are helpless I AM CALLED GOSSIP. Shop gossip Before passing on a questionable story ask: Is it true? Is it fair? Is it necessary? Would I want this said about me? -------------------------------------- I FOUND THIS AND THOUGHT IT WAS VERY INTERESTING... SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU THINK AND SAY HUMMMMMM....
I maim without killing
I gather strength with age
I am cunning and malicious
I break hearts and ruin lives
I have no respect for justice
I make headaches
I make heartaches
I end ministries
I generate grief
I ruin marriages
I destroy families
I spawn suspicion
I trigger indigestion
I topple governments
I cause sleepless nights
I make innocent people cry
The more I am believed
I flourish everywhere I go
I have no name and no face.
To track me down is impossible
The harder you try, the more elusive I become
Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same
Party gossip
Office gossip
Church gossip
On-line gossip
Telephone gossip
LATERS,
THOM
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Posted: Jun 04, 2008
James chapter 3
Posted: Jun 05, 2008
Thom,
I'm not sure if you remember me or not.....Mike Milam from Virginia. We were in touch with one another many years ago - early 90's or so - and we have been out of touch for many years. Time flies! I googled you tonight and here you are. I would absolutely love to catch up - you can e-mail me at ranks36@aol.com
Hope to hear from you soon!
Mike
Posted: Jun 05, 2008
This is a very good article Thom. Everyone should have that hanging on a wall!
Posted: Jun 05, 2008
So true everywhere...
Posted: Jun 05, 2008
Amen!!!
Posted: Jun 05, 2008
Very good!
Posted: Jun 05, 2008
gossip sounds like it lives right here in Malaysian politics. they're so alike that they could be twins!... oh yes, it's true, it's fair and it's necessary!
Posted: Jun 05, 2008
it is everywhere. some good some bad
Posted: Jun 05, 2008
Is there any "GOOD" gossip in this world? I believe all gossip hurts someone down the line.
Posted: Jun 05, 2008
yes there is the kind that makes those being talked about straighten up
Posted: Jun 05, 2008
still not good, I find that one that needs talking too need talking to in the face not behind their back. Talking about someone behind their back is never a good thing, would you like to hear from a third person that someone else thinks you needed straightened up?
Posted: Jun 05, 2008
I had an employee once that had a lot of shortcommings. Should have fired her but I thought maybe if we work together she will become a good employee. She had a boyfriend that was highly dommineering and manipulative. She would make excuses to him about how she was always right and I was the bad guy. He would feed her ego to where she really believed it was me. My fault that she did not know a certain procedure when in reality she never asked about it. She did not communicate to me when she was having a problem.Instead I was "only concerned about myself". When the whispering and water cooler talk got back to me, at first it made me angry. really angry, then after I got over that I became cautious and almost to the point of completely ignoring her. When I finaly calmed down I had a talk with her and spelled things out without letting on I knew anything. She just sat there and lied about it. Needless to say she was gone before long. The part that hurts is when you put time and effort into trying to help someone and then you find out through gossip that they are laughing at you. I have to agree. There is no such thing as good gossip. If you need to straighten someone out they deserve to be told face to face
Posted: Jun 05, 2008
there is no such thing as Good Gossip.
Posted: Jun 05, 2008
My motto is, "Never say anything about someone that you wouldn't be willing to say their face"
Posted: Jun 05, 2008
Exactly Jim, Thus, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Your motto is my motto. Hmmm, sounds like a golden rule to me.
There is and never has been "good" gossip like you said Jenaka.
Posted: Jun 06, 2008
I agree with Jenaka, that this article/poem should be posted on a wall. However, I read some of the other comments, and I agree that while gossip is usually destructive, it can also be INstructive. I just left a job with a boss who, by her behavior, invited everyone to gossip about her. You never knew where you stood with her. One day she could be nice and the next day the opposite. She said things in my evaluation that weren't true so that she could justify firing me. I had no recourse because I am not tenured.
Everyone talked about this principal behind her back, because to her face you could be fired. A question I brought up in a district meeting that was just to clarify how I should do my job got me into big trouble. She would not accept advice from anyone. Everything had to be done her way and she expected complete and utter loyalty.
So when people talked about her, in one sense it was destructive and fostered anger and stress, but also it was what was on our minds and we had to let out our feelings. By telling our experience with her we were also informing others who had similar experiences. This way we knew we were not alone and could support each other. A destructive aspect, however, was the fact that sometimes people loyal to her would hear the conversation and tell her.
So I have come to the conclusion that gossip is mostly destructive and I vow never to engage in it again (especially at work).
Thanks, Thom!
Posted: Jun 06, 2008
I am sorry Katy that you such a miserable boss. But talking it out behind her back did not seem to have solved anything. I believe that if the people that had been affected by her dual personality went together to the district office and complained it would have done a lot more then having water-cooler talk. There is such a thing as chain of command and if she was unreasonable, the next step would have been to go to her boss. Banding together in one experience and trying to solve a problem actively is not gossip, it is solving a problem. Now if you all just talked and did nothing about the situation, then it would be Gossip. The difference is the action you choose. Gossip at work places are the worse kind and the once that do the most of it seem to get away with it all the time because the other workers are afraid of the made-up bad rep one can get by gossip. I always found that if I stay away from it I will also be protected from the vicious talk of others. The less they know about me, the less they have to talk about me.
Posted: Jun 06, 2008
Hi Thom,
you are, translated!
http://backtolandagain.wordpress.com/
and here
http://blog.libero.it/Landed/
Posted: Jun 06, 2008
you know, there might be some truth to that Katy. When I stop and think about it, Gossip is passing on half truths and exagerations that can be destructive. similar to the infamous virus warnings and political e mails over the internet. Spreading rumors and such like that. There have been times that I have shared with an employee some frustrations and concernes about another employee. My purpose is to get someone elses view. I am the boss, they are the co worker and see things from a different angle. But we do not pass on stories about that person, we don't make up rumors. I don't care about that. If an employee comes to me and says X came back from lunch and smells like a brewery. That is not gossip. Gossip would be "Did you hear what X did last nite?"
I think there needs to be a distinction between gossip, back stabbing and constructive counsel.
Posted: Jun 06, 2008
In the case of the obnoxious boss, I think just to say as Eric Chavez of the Oakland a's said to an umpire once, I am not arguing balls and strikes. All I am saying is find your zone and be consistent.
By the way, where is Tony these days? He would have a lot of wisdom to offer on this subject
Posted: Jun 06, 2008
Tony is keeping busy with his family right now. I know he'd love to put his 2 cents in too though. Hopefully he'll be back before long:)
Posted: Jun 06, 2008
Hummmmmm :) Thom, gossip hurts sooooo much, and we have all been guilty of it in our lives. But unfortunetly so many ppl are in denial.....
Just stop GOSSIP!!!! That is all we all must do....
Thankyou Thom for this posting.......I love it......
You are true blue......like Bev.....
All it takes is a contous effort.... from our hearts, and minds....so our spirits can be in peace......
Kitten777
Posted: Jun 06, 2008
Tony is human......too
We need to pray for the strong ones in the Lord too......
How do we know if he is not under attack......
Pray for Tony........
Kitten777
Posted: Jun 06, 2008
Turn to The Lord and ask HIM......
Posted: Jun 09, 2008
this weekend I had a chance to see what gossip can do to one who does the gossipping. my nieghbor was insulted by one of our other neighbors to her face. of course the insults were far from true. but the woman was upset by them. she started talking bad about him behind his back. I told her to turn her focus away from the bad toward the good. After all the horrible things she said, he nearly died of drunken drowning.
Posted: Jun 09, 2008
Hahn.....let me get this right......the accuser caused the victim of the gossip to drink?......
Posted: Jun 10, 2008
no the drinker got drunk said some mean things to his girl. the girl started gossipping about him. he drank some more and ended up at the bottom of a pool, was resusitated (sp), and is now in ICU. so the girl is feeling bad because she talked bad about him.
Posted: Jun 12, 2008
Yes, gossip does create much pain......
Posted: Jun 12, 2008
Isn't that something that Paul talked about in Romans? Gossipers and backbiters.
Posted: Jun 12, 2008
I know, Bev.......and they can minipulate so good, too....
Posted: Jun 12, 2008
yes
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
When I am around it.....I really get overwhelmed......I can not stand up to a Jezeble Spirit......I would rather leave, and avoid conflict, because conflict drains my Spirit........
Kitten
Posted: Jun 16, 2008
i know what you mean, kitten. this evening, after a storm, i was doing some gardening and arrrrgghhhhhh! the lousy *ccb* face [don't ask, it's profanity] neighbour comes by and says, 'hello' like he did NOT mean it. I like miraculously collected myself in like UNDER 1 minute, muttered a hi, and ignored him. Believe it or not, in under that 1 minute, the thought that ran in my head was like "argh! cursed ccb face, don't even talk to me!" ... yeah, I know.